Do You Miss Miami?

As I was leaving band practice last night, I noticed how humid it was. I got a flash of nostalgia for the nights in Miami; for nighttime is when it was generally pleasant to come out an about. The sun was not out, oppressing your every move. You saw lights, and neon, and all sorts of interesting people and things. The entire city seemed to morph into something completely different when the sun set. What a difference from Southwestern Pennsylvania when everything just seems to turn off when the sun sets. I remember when I was in the hospital and I spoke to my mother when she landed in Ft. Lauderdale at 11:15 pm. I was trying to talk to her and help her find my Dad who was supposed to pick her up. Her first remark to me was, "It's like 12:00 noon here, it's so busy!". I just chuckled. Because I could understand her bewilderment (she had never before been to South Florida).

Last Friday, I met some new staff members here at work. When I tell them a bit of my history, usually the question pops up, "Do you miss Miami?". My answer is pretty standard - "Yes, I miss Miami the city; but I don't miss the people, and I am glad to be away from there." While I am not lying, I definitely over simplify things when I say that. For example, I feel very strongly that Miami is my type of town. Things are diverse; things are ever changing and interesting; the weather is balmy; there are lots of Jews. In fact Miami reminds me a lot of Judaism in that you have a wonderful foundation, a wonderful framework and potential to be something spectacular, but the people ruin it. I feel that if Miami could purge itself from the majority of people who live there, and start again, it would be an excellent place to call home.

Another issue I had while living in Miami is the issue of loneliness. This was a curious problem, because I am not the type of person who needs tons of friends. To be fair, I did have several friends. But no one I was especially close to; and I felt this ongoing disconnect between myself and the community of citizens around me. As a young, single, professional 20-something, you would think that it would not be to hard to find friends. But I found too many instances of situations where people wanted to be friends on the condition of "something"; whether it be for connections, for convenience, for sex, or for help in rounding out their social persona. Not to often did someone bond with me as a friend because of the person I was. I found being social in Miami to be an exhausting exercise in trying to discover the hidden agenda of people and then being disappointed when I discovered they did not appreciate me as a person in the least. Nonetheless, I do not write off all people in South Florida for being this way. I just was not successful in attracting or finding people who operated outside of this; which I saw as the norm.

And the third major issue I had with Miami is the strange economic environment which exists down there. Searching for a job as a non-bilingual employee was an excercise in patience and diligence. The fact that Miami is like a miniture version of NYC and LA; where you have incredibly rich people flaunting their wares in front of the faces of immigrants; causes unrealistic expectations from employees and employers alike. Therefore the middle class status is very elusive in South Florida, unless you really know what you are doing. You'll get people who make a decent wage, going into incredible debt trying to mirror the "good life"; a Lexus or BMW in the garage, bi-weekly trips to high end salons, mystic tans, designer clothes and bags, a house in a cul-de-sac, etc. Instead of "making it", just staying afloat financially becomes an elusive dream.

So yes, I do miss Miami. I do not regret being in Pennsylvania at this time in my life, or maybe even for the rest of my life (who knows). But Miami will always remain special to me. It is where I blossomed into adulthood, it is where I discovered Torah observant Judaism, it is where I challanged myself and grew personally and professionally. How could I not miss it?